When I was planning my wedding, I wasn’t Catholic yet—but I was quietly falling in love with the faith. My husband had been Catholic for a few years, and we wanted our wedding to reflect that part of his life. I still had questions, hesitations, and a whole lot of family who didn’t share his beliefs (or mine).

We ended up choosing a Catholic wedding ceremony without a Mass. I didn’t even know that was possible at the time! It felt like the right balance: honoring his Catholic faith (and my growing love for it), while being gentle with the needs of our guests. I wanted it to be meaningful. I wanted it to feel sacred. And I wanted the most skeptical members of my family in the room to walk in with an open heart for me.

As a Catholic wedding photographer in the Philadelphia area, I meet a lot of couples navigating this same mix of faith, family, and love. If you’re planning a Catholic wedding with a non-Catholic partner, or your faith is still unfolding, this post is for you. You can create a wedding day that feels personal, honest, and deeply reverent. And you don’t have to do it alone.

Why We Chose a Non-Mass Catholic Wedding Ceremony

If I’m being honest, when we started planning our wedding, I didn’t want to get married in a church. At the time I was only dipping my toes in, and the idea of bearing my soul to my atheist family terrified me. But a year of planning later and a little Holy Spirit intervention and I told my husband-to-be I’d marry him in our home parish, where we’d both been attending Mass together for some time.

So we knew we wanted a Catholic ceremony—but we also knew that a full Nuptial Mass might not be the right fit for us since I was still just exploring the faith. I wasn’t baptized or confirmed yet, and while I felt drawn to the Church, I hadn’t formally entered it. Our families were also mixed in belief—his was more familiar with the tradition, and mine… not so much at all.

So we chose a Catholic wedding ceremony without a Mass. It’s still a valid and beautiful Sacrament, just celebrated without the Liturgy of the Eucharist. For many couples where only one partner is Catholic, this is a thoughtful way to honor the tradition and the loved ones in the pews—especially when some of those guests may not understand or feel comfortable participating in the full liturgy of the Mass.

At the time, I was quietly nervous. I felt a bit shy about how excited I was for the religious parts of the day—especially in front of my atheist family. I worried they’d tune out, get bored, or judge the spiritual elements that felt so personal to me. They’re beautiful, wonderful people, but it just isn’t their world. And at the same time, I wanted to honor my husband’s faith (and mine, even if it wasn’t official yet) with something that felt deeply reverent and intentional.

Choosing a non-Mass Catholic wedding ceremony gave us room to hold both: our faith and our families, our sacred beginning and the people who made us who we are.

How We Made Our Non-Mass Catholic Wedding Feel Meaningful (And True to Us)

Planning a Catholic wedding when only one of you is Catholic can come with some unique fears—especially when you love your people, but they just don’t get it. Here are a few things that helped us make the ceremony feel sacred, personal, and welcoming to everyone involved:

Talk to your Priest, Seriously

We were blessed to work with a priest who was warm, pastoral, and deeply kind. He didn’t just check off boxes—he talked with us, especially me, to help me feel at home in a space I wasn’t fully part of yet. He’s definitely part of the reason that I became Catholic a year later—and not just because he baptized and confirmed me.

Our church had a really streamlined planning process (which helped so much!), but the magic was in the personal connection—knowing the man who was going to marry us was completely comfortable around a secular crowd and respected our guests while still honoring the liturgy.

If you’re planning a Catholic wedding in Philadelphia or Bucks County, talk to your parish priest early on. Don’t be afraid to share your heart. If it’s a good fit, he’ll meet you right where you are.

Create a Ceremony Booklet That Tells the Story

One of my favorite things we did was make a little booklet for each guest. Inside were:

• the wedding party
• our chosen readings (in both English and Latin)
• the songs
• and even works of art we selected that reflected our shared aesthetic and faith journey

This gave my secular family something tangible to follow along with and made the liturgy feel less mysterious (that is–hopefully keeping the sacred mystery intact, but helping them follow along 😉 ). It also helped them feel like they belonged in the moment—not like they were sitting through something foreign.

I designed my booklet myself, but you can find all sorts of options on Etsy!

Talk to Specific Guests Ahead of Time

There were a few specific people I was nervous about. I spoke to them one-on-one before the wedding and just said:

“I know this isn’t your thing. But it means something to me. I’m not asking you to pretend—I’m just asking you to soften your heart for one day.”

Coming from a place of vulnerability instead of expectation made all the difference. I can’t say that enough how I didn’t press them about what they might do wrong! Just showed them I see them and where they’re coming from and asked them a favor for my big day. They showed up, not just physically, but emotionally—and I could feel it. It meant everything.

Add Some Joyful, Secular-Friendly Touches

Your ceremony can stay sacred—and still make room for fun (before it begins or after it’s concluded, of course)! After our liturgy, we asked guests to form a tunnel outside the church, and we ran through it to our getaway car—a vintage 1930s Ford. Our Catholic guests loved the reverence of the ceremony, and our more secular friends loved having something to cheer for and connect to.

Customizing your Ceremony Where you Can

One of the most encouraging surprises for me was learning how much flexibility we had in shaping our ceremony—even without a full Mass.

We asked close friends to be our lectors, which brought so much love to the readings. Our priest even let us include an extra reading since we weren’t doing the Liturgy of the Eucharist! My maid of honor isn’t Catholic, but she read the Old Testament passage with so much care and heart (it meant a lot to her that I asked her to do it!)

We also had full say in the music. My husband took charge there and it was beautiful. He even coordinated a chorus of singers instead of just a soloist, which was a beautiful surprise for me on the day! The music filled the space and made the whole liturgy feel radiant, reverent, and joyful.

If you’re planning a Catholic wedding when only one partner is Catholic, know this: you can make the day feel sacred and personal. There’s room for reverence, creativity, and beauty.

Your Guests Are Showing Up Because They Love You

If you’re worried about guests feeling out of place during a Catholic wedding, remember:
they’re not there for the ceremony—they’re there for you.

And honestly? It’s an hour.
They’ll live.
And they’ll know more about your heart when it’s over.

It Can Be Sacred, Even If It’s Not Perfect

If you’re planning a Catholic wedding where only one partner is Catholic, I want you to know something I wish someone had told me: You’re allowed to honor where you are. You don’t need to prove anything, or perform a version of the liturgy that doesn’t feel true to your season. You just need to show up with love, honesty, and a desire to make space for something holy.

Our wedding day was not a traditional full Mass. But it was sacred. It was thoughtful. It was full of prayer, beauty, and the kind of quiet courage that it takes to love people with different beliefs and backgrounds—and still say, this matters to us.

And now? I’m a Catholic. Almost a year after that day, I joined the Church. But it started with that small, in-between space: where God was already working, even when I wasn’t ready to name it yet.

If you’re in that space—planning a wedding that honors faith while holding space for difference—I see you. If you need someone to talk to or a photographer who gets it, I’d love to connect.

God Bless you!!

Studio Starling Home

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If you have questions or would like Jenn to photograph your wedding day, send a note along here!